Thursday, February 08, 2007

Ahhhhhh ....

Okay, so I thought that the worst part of the wait was over. I mean, we are out of PGN -- we are legally the parents of Elena Angelina Dayana Merrill (or as all her documents coming into the states will say, Angie Dayana Merrill). Chris and I should be walking on cloud nine every day.

Of course, his deployment date is looming large in the future, so I am starting to get antsy about if he will be able to travel with me to pick her up, have to leave me by myself in Guatemala, or if my mom will make the trip with me. We have a very small window of opportunity for Chris to travel with me and then spend some time in the states with Elena, Garrett, and me before heading back to Iraq. I'm not a normal prayer. I don't ask for prayer requests, feel slightly uncomfortable when one is asked of me, all that. However, this is one event that is truly in God's hands, and so I am praying like crazy. I even asked the online forum that I belong to for a prayer request! I'll take whatever help we can get at this point. Please, God, let us be able to pick up Elena as a family.

Of course, that will then present a whole other bevy of problems. I've moved on from stressing about how I am going to care for two toddlers. Now my nightmare is that Elena is going to have some grieving to do (she's been for 9 months with the same family, and will be gone from everything that is familiar) and obviously I'll want to tend to her. Garrett has decided lately that this is the time to cling to Mom. So he's going to have this little sister move into his house, claim lots of Mom's time, and at the same time Dad is going to go back to living in the phone (seriously, sometimes I still think that Garrett believes Dada lives in the phone he carries all around the house -- great idea when Dada was far away, how is little man going to take that transition?). Alright, I know that I am probably borrowing trouble from tomorrow, but I seriously needed to vent. I'll probably look back at this post in a few months and just laugh, but whatever.

Well, little man is down for a nap right now so I am going to be smart and use this time to clean. Too soon again will I be using nap time for my own naps!

1 comment:

Mommavia said...

Very real and valid fears, Beck. I have been praying everyday that you both will be traveling to Guat together and come home as interupted trip.

I won't lie, there will be lots of transitions for everyone involved upon your return. Hopefully Elena's greiving will be short lived, that she will remember you from your visit in December and feel so at peace in your arms that all is well in her world. Garrett too will have adjusting to do, and you will teach him coping skills to get him through. You are a super mom, you can do this!

I have gotten some specific prayer requests from this post and will take and pray them for know how I am about specific praying now! It rid me of cancer and will have you and Chris travel together.